My first blog was born quite early into my divorce, 2012, as I was stirred into consciousness by my worried family. With orange sludge stuck to my face and The Notebook playing in the background – they were witness to the horrors of a Chocolate/Wotsits overdose. It wasn’t pretty and neither was the sobbing wreck afterwards. Safe to say, it was a low point (sadly, probably not my lowest). In the midst of a lucid moment as I attempted to get clean, I had an idea. I would blog about my divorce. There wasn’t much online for Asian/Muslim women going through separations so I decided to share my story. It soon became a platform for others to connect to. And I loved it.
“Why choose to write under a pseudonym the first time around?”
Somewhat concerned about being depicted as a vengeful woman and being too sensitive (at that time) to be able to handle comments, I opted to go under a different name. It was (is?) viewed as unbecoming to talk about private matters and even from a religious perspective, I was often quoted with the whole “cover their sins and God covers yours” text. I do unfortunately believe that there are widely different attitudes to the way men are perceived when talking about their lives to what women are – take the examples of the words “bitter” and “scorned”, in your mind, who do they sit better infront of?
I wanted to create a blog blending some laughs along the way whilst also talking about that which should not be spoken about – an unashamed woman’s blog if you will. To know that we have a right to speak about our stories without being filtered by societal, religious or cultural pressures. It’s why, this time, I chose to shed the anonymity safety net which I have been writing behind for years. Imagine, not feeling ashamed of your story….
Like my first blog, I hope to have a platform for people to connect. Although I write from the perspective of a Scottish, Asian, Muslim woman (I am that colourful combination afterall), I believe much of what I write about crosses those cultural boundaries. Blokes, I’m not a male bashing feminist – I would fight for your rights too so I welcome you to share your opinions if it tickles your fancy.
Whilst the sobbing divorce days are behind me, I still have much to say on the topic – peas of wisdom to impart (pearls are too expensive in my world). However, as I was catapulted back into single life again, I found myself on a different journey – from navigating the dating scene, tackling issues I never expected, meeting amazing people around the world and hearing their stories to some heart stopping moments in Palestine. The first ironically causes me more stress than conflict zones ever have.
Whilst I use my life stories, day to day incidents to inspire me to write – I encourage you to feed discussions and generate ideas (if I feel I can write passionately enough about it then I will). I also have guest posts lined up from amazing friends both near and far – with a strict stipulation that every post in this blog goes under a real name. Comments from yourselves can be anonymous/fake named if you’re shy but posts won’t. It encompasses part of the image of shedding shame. For now, I aim to post fortnightly however if life frees up, I’ll try for weekly. This counts as a first post………….right?
And with that, I invite you and welcome you to my blog
Life of Fai