Where Did You Pop Up From?

My first blog was born quite early into my divorce, 2012, as I was stirred into consciousness by my worried family.  With orange sludge stuck to my face and The Notebook playing in the background – they were witness to the horrors of a Chocolate/Wotsits overdose.  It wasn’t pretty and neither was the sobbing wreck afterwards.  Safe to say, it was a low point (sadly, probably not my lowest).  In the midst of a lucid moment as I attempted to get clean, I had an idea.  I would blog about my divorce.  There wasn’t much online for Asian/Muslim women going through separations so I decided to share my story.  It soon became a platform for others to connect to.  And I loved it.

 

“Why choose to write under a pseudonym the first time around?”

 

Somewhat concerned about being depicted as a vengeful woman and being too sensitive (at that time) to be able to handle comments, I opted to go under a different name.  It was (is?) viewed as unbecoming to talk about private matters and even from a religious perspective, I was often quoted with the whole “cover their sins and God covers yours” text.  I do unfortunately believe that there are widely different attitudes to the way men are perceived when talking about their lives to what women are – take the examples of the words “bitter” and “scorned”, in your mind, who do they sit better infront of?

 

 

I wanted to create a blog blending some laughs along the way whilst also talking about that which should not be spoken about – an unashamed woman’s blog if you will.  To know that we have a right to speak about our stories without being filtered by societal, religious or cultural pressures.  It’s why, this time, I chose to shed the anonymity safety net which I have been writing behind for years.  Imagine, not feeling ashamed of your story….

 

Like my first blog, I hope to have a platform for people to connect.  Although I write from the perspective of a Scottish, Asian, Muslim woman (I am that colourful combination afterall), I believe much of what I write about crosses those cultural boundaries.  Blokes, I’m not a male bashing feminist – I would fight for your rights too so I welcome you to share your opinions if it tickles your fancy.

 

Whilst the sobbing divorce days are behind me, I still have much to say on the topic – peas of wisdom to impart (pearls are too expensive in my world).  However, as I was catapulted back into single life again, I found myself on a different journey – from navigating the dating scene, tackling issues I never expected, meeting amazing people around the world and hearing their stories to some heart stopping moments in Palestine.  The first ironically causes me more stress than conflict zones ever have.

 

Whilst I use my life stories, day to day incidents to inspire me to write – I encourage you to feed discussions and generate ideas (if I feel I can write passionately enough about it then I will).  I also have guest posts lined up from amazing friends both near and far – with a strict stipulation that every post in this blog goes under a real name.  Comments from yourselves can be anonymous/fake named if you’re shy but posts won’t.  It encompasses part of the image of shedding shame.  For now, I aim to post fortnightly however if life frees up, I’ll try for weekly.  This counts as a first post………….right?

 

And with that, I invite you and welcome you to my blog

Life of Fai

 

 

29 Replies to “Where Did You Pop Up From?”

  1. Great writer… interesting and hooked already. And a big thanks to ‘Planet B’ for giving us all the heads up on your blog. In particular looking forward to reading about your experiences in Palestine. Good luck with your blog!

    1. Thanks for following Andy and your lovely comment. You can’t leave me hanging with your comment on Facebook! Do share when you muster the courage lol 🙂

  2. Hi, I followed your last blog and I’m really looking forward to reading this one too!

    1. Hi Amna, I sent you an email the other day, interested to hear how you are getting on! You said some really kind things about my last blog so I’m glad you decided to follow my scribblings on this one too xx

  3. Great work Fai, we dont know each other but hey been there done that (get the hint !!!) , i have been through similar path, but my blog is on the other side of the road (aka lazy-ness). Well done on your first post , looking forward to many more. All the best.

    1. Thanks for your kind comment. Your hint could mean so many things to me and my imagination has gone wild so you either need to narrow it down for me or let me run with it! Lol.

      1. Lol, may be run with it but the hint was in the next sentence (“… been through similar path”).

        Anyway , enjoy blogging , looking forward to your next blog 🙂

        1. Gotcha 😉

  4. Sam - A Fan Girl says: Reply

    Whoop whoop! You did it! Here’s to some more shedding shame and insights into the adventures of Fai Why #ShredTheShame like Shredder from Ninja Turtles!

    1. Lol, I had to do something didn’t I, your podcast idea was taking far too long! mwah x

      1. Sam - A Fan Girl says: Reply

        When life eases up the podcast is so on! And you shall be my first guest i’a!! But first kebab night 😀

  5. Faiza Bibi! Looking forward to supporting you and catching up with your musings xx enjoyed this!

    1. Sehri Behan! thanks but let’s face it, you know my musings five seconds after they happen lol xx

  6. Aisha Choudhary says: Reply

    Looking forward to your next blog, wish you all the best!

    1. Thanks Aisha xx

  7. when you dish out peas of wisdom do you mutter muttar?
    I could try to say something poetic, but Eduardo Galeano said it better than I ever could
    “Celebration of the Human Voice—
    When it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all. Because every single one of us has something to say to the others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others.”

    1. Lol Tiff!! You made me laugh. I loved that quote! You’ll put me to shame the way you can reel things like that off xx

  8. All the best with your new adventure. I am looking forward to reading your blogs. xxx

  9. Wishing you all the best! Looking forward to reading your blogs. xxx

    1. Aw thanks Afia x hope you’ll provide your thoughts as the blogs go up xx

    2. Aw thanks Afia xx hope you’re sticking around!

  10. Wishing you all the very best with this adventure, Fai! Hoping to follow this. Loving your picture. You look like a super hero to me! xx

    1. Hi Caroline, part of what got me thinking about this blog was a conversation you and I had over my last piece. I loved how it went cross culture and made me realise my last blog was actually a mix of different people – just people trying to navigate life, facing the same issues but dealing with it perhaps in slightly different ways x so hopefully like my last blog, it can create some conversions. A bit scary starting again! Xx

  11. Well done Fai! Sounds interesting!

    1. Tom D! The first bloke to leave a comment! Thanks for that xx

  12. I applaud you Fai!!! Looking forward to reading more. Loving it so far.

    1. Aw thanks Linda and looking forward to your insights along the way xx

  13. Can’t wait to read and follow along with you! Proud of you girl 🙂 x

    1. Aww thanks Han!! xx

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