In a lot of cultures, izzat (honour) is a massive concept. Indo-Pak culture normally uses izzat as a useful emotional blackmail tool. Don’t do this or you ruin our family name etc. It seems that we can’t escape the “honour” line even after marriage. My friend, newly married, agreed to live in an extended family […]
pakistani
Sahara Singleton
2020 as a singleton has been dry – Sahara dry. If I’m honest I needed no help from covid to kill my dating life as it had started so unpromising but atleast I can blame it on the pandemic now. Since lockdown ended though, I have had a couple meets with someone…… Before I get […]
- Musings
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The Gift that Keeps on Giving
My title is pure sarcasm in case that wasn’t clear. Day 3000 in lockdown and it’s bringing up a few things for me. Presently, I feel tired. Logically I have no reason to feel this level of tiredness…….then again, we’ve never had this situation before. The adrenaline high kept me going for the first few […]
You’re too Fussy
I’m told I’m fussy……..mainly by people married in their 20s who have never had to navigate the relationship market. Whilst it occasionally aggravates me, as though my age, ‘withering’ ovaries and divorced status mean I should accept anyone – I have also started to embrace the word. What others view as fussy is what I […]
Drug Dealing to Reiki Healing
I’ve not really participated in this ten year review – I don’t think I can be bothered hunting for a photo of me from ten years ago or even reflecting on what the last decade has been like. It’s easier to breezily reflect on the year gone by, which for me has gone in a […]
Unashamedly Shameful
I’m aware, as I write this piece, that I don’t want to come across as a sanctimonious cow because of a choice I got to make over living alone. I fully understand culture and I fully understand the expectations that come with that. Maybe, the point of this piece is to question that expectation a […]
The Unwelcome Feminist
Almost a year ago now, I wrote a piece for Engender essentially answering a question: is the hijab compatible with feminism? You can view the piece either here on Engender’s website or you can give it a read below! “You’re destroying any progress women have made by wearing that on your head” By that, they […]
Sticks and Stones
I’ve been writing an autobiography of my life which I was supposed to have started months ago and as per usual, I’m scrambling about last minute to get it done. It forms part of a presentation I’m supposed to make as I start my counselling course. I work better under pressure anyway…..well that’s what I’m […]
- Counselling
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Talk it Out
If you follow this blog then you’ll know I’ve been off the scene for a while – briefly interjecting with a post from Eid but other than that a little mute. I’ve been exhausted for a few reasons but I’m on track to fixing that! The New Year started with a new course and I […]
When Fai met……..
I didn’t place her at first. I should have recognised her though, she hadn’t changed much from when I last saw her – seven years ago. She didn’t see me but my former sister in-law made eye contact with me. A flash of recognition, the start of a smile before it dawned on her who […]