I love trauma. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t love being in it, that’s a pain in the arse but if you were to ask me what I could devour books, time and energy on, it’s this. I love working with it in my practice, I love seeing the pieces connect as we delve […]
muslim
Izzat
In a lot of cultures, izzat (honour) is a massive concept. Indo-Pak culture normally uses izzat as a useful emotional blackmail tool. Don’t do this or you ruin our family name etc. It seems that we can’t escape the “honour” line even after marriage. My friend, newly married, agreed to live in an extended family […]
Sahara Singleton
2020 as a singleton has been dry – Sahara dry. If I’m honest I needed no help from covid to kill my dating life as it had started so unpromising but atleast I can blame it on the pandemic now. Since lockdown ended though, I have had a couple meets with someone…… Before I get […]
I’m App it
I was invited by an organisation to speak about my experiences with marriage apps; my perceptions as to why more and more Muslim women are using them as well as my own on again/off again relationship with them. I thought I would share a few of the discussions points here and invite you to discuss […]
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
My title is pure sarcasm in case that wasn’t clear. Day 3000 in lockdown and it’s bringing up a few things for me. Presently, I feel tired. Logically I have no reason to feel this level of tiredness…….then again, we’ve never had this situation before. The adrenaline high kept me going for the first few […]
You’re too Fussy
I’m told I’m fussy……..mainly by people married in their 20s who have never had to navigate the relationship market. Whilst it occasionally aggravates me, as though my age, ‘withering’ ovaries and divorced status mean I should accept anyone – I have also started to embrace the word. What others view as fussy is what I […]
Drug Dealing to Reiki Healing
I’ve not really participated in this ten year review – I don’t think I can be bothered hunting for a photo of me from ten years ago or even reflecting on what the last decade has been like. It’s easier to breezily reflect on the year gone by, which for me has gone in a […]
Unashamedly Shameful
I’m aware, as I write this piece, that I don’t want to come across as a sanctimonious cow because of a choice I got to make over living alone. I fully understand culture and I fully understand the expectations that come with that. Maybe, the point of this piece is to question that expectation a […]
The Unwelcome Feminist
Almost a year ago now, I wrote a piece for Engender essentially answering a question: is the hijab compatible with feminism? You can view the piece either here on Engender’s website or you can give it a read below! “You’re destroying any progress women have made by wearing that on your head” By that, they […]
Sticks and Stones
I’ve been writing an autobiography of my life which I was supposed to have started months ago and as per usual, I’m scrambling about last minute to get it done. It forms part of a presentation I’m supposed to make as I start my counselling course. I work better under pressure anyway…..well that’s what I’m […]