In a lot of cultures, izzat (honour) is a massive concept. Indo-Pak culture normally uses izzat as a useful emotional blackmail tool. Don’t do this or you ruin our family name etc. It seems that we can’t escape the “honour” line even after marriage. My friend, newly married, agreed to live in an extended family […]
Cultural Issues
You’re too Fussy
I’m told I’m fussy……..mainly by people married in their 20s who have never had to navigate the relationship market. Whilst it occasionally aggravates me, as though my age, ‘withering’ ovaries and divorced status mean I should accept anyone – I have also started to embrace the word. What others view as fussy is what I […]
Unashamedly Shameful
I’m aware, as I write this piece, that I don’t want to come across as a sanctimonious cow because of a choice I got to make over living alone. I fully understand culture and I fully understand the expectations that come with that. Maybe, the point of this piece is to question that expectation a […]
When Fai met……..
I didn’t place her at first. I should have recognised her though, she hadn’t changed much from when I last saw her – seven years ago. She didn’t see me but my former sister in-law made eye contact with me. A flash of recognition, the start of a smile before it dawned on her who […]
Menstrual Musings
If you read my piece last year then you’ll know that I usually have slight anxiety in the lead up to Ramadan. The long hours of fasting isn’t the biggest difficulty for me – it’s usually trying to get in all the extras……that is, until I decided not to put too much pressure on myself. […]
Pakistani In-laws
Faryal Makdoom’s outburst on social media, a couple years ago, accusing her in-laws of bullying caused much furore amongst people and has seen a somewhat mixed reaction. The usual mutterings ofcourse that private family matters should stay private whilst others praise her for actions that very much go against Pakistani culture. I can’t say it […]