I love trauma.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t love being in it, that’s a pain in the arse but if you were to ask me what I could devour books, time and energy on, it’s this. I love working with it in my practice, I love seeing the pieces connect as we delve into our stuff and I love the outcome that healing brings from it.
You don’t particularly need to look very far to see me talk about my own, give this blog a little glance and you’ll find me tsunami myself into a piece about my abuse, my anxieties over toxic culture and a whole section navigating the explosions of a divorce…….some of it can be a bit car crash, some of it can be a bit ‘Jesus, God woman’ but most of all, it’s real and for that I’m quite proud.
What, however I have come to realise and even more so now through my work with trauma, is how healing this blog and previous ones have been for me. Writing has let me get it out, break away from the shame shit storm I have been swirling in and effectively prevented me from drowning in it.
It gave me my voice back
Perhaps, at times, I have been too open about parts of my life or past relationship – I feel okay to accept that though. If I hadn’t been then I don’t think I would be where I am nor do I think I would have had conversations with others that needed it.
It’s no surprise then that writing as a form of therapy has been an area that I have lots of interest in. Infact my last piece of research centred around it and I see huge value in using it in my future work.
It’s got me thinking about this blog and that perhaps it’s time for a revamp of sorts. Time for a change. I had hoped that others who needed to talk would speak openly on it however I don’t think the blog was quite able to achieve that. It has possibly been a bit scary at times or maybe even a bit hard with the fear of watchful eyes. Instead what I tend to find is that I receive a lot of private emails or messages from people, some desperately needing to share.
Yet I would love for anyone whose in difficulty to experience what I experienced. A layered release of pain through writing. A healing that allows for feeling, pulling away from living life numbly and allowing more joy to enter into us. Perhaps you don’t feel you have been through anything traumatic but you’re upset. Maybe you don’t even know what you’re upset about. That’s okay. If you’re swirling around in it, consumed far more than you’d like by some sort of difficulty then this invitation is for you too. Write with me. Write on this blog.
I want to change this blog now and extend an invitation to you all. If you’re in pain, no matter how small you may think it is, write. Send it over to me anonymously. Connect with others over it but importantly your story, your shit storm is important. Speak through here if it’s too difficult, too real or too big to tell the humans in your life. I hope it can bring you as much healing as what it’s brought me.
My pieces from now will for the most part feature guest posts from anonymous writers unless they want names attached – maybe you’ll connect with their lives as much as what you have mine. Maybe it can make you feel less alone if/when you’re ever struggling. I’ll still be around, pop in with an anecdote or two I’m sure and all my posts are still here.
But for now, I’ll end this post simply with a thank you. Thank you for being a part of this with me.